Mattiesko’s Overtly Racist Christmas Special 2010: A Black Christmas!

25 12 2009

Happy Christmas, all.  Just a few days ago, I was just searching through the many ancient documents on my computer, when I happened to come across probably the most racist thing I’ve ever concocted.  If I concocted it, that is.  Truth be told, I have no idea where this came from or how it got on my computer, but I’m the only one who has it and no matter how I got my hands on this gem, I can’t pass up posting it here, especially on Christmas, so without further ado, here it is unabridged and unedited, I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas, straight from the depths of my hard drive.

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Los Campesinos! — Romance Is Boring

22 12 2009

Artist: Los Campesinos!

Album: Romance Is Boring

Genre: Indie Pop

Year: 2009

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Mattiesko Investigates: Why Nauru is the Greatest Country of ALL TIME

22 12 2009

This may come off a surprise to you, but my primary source for every article is Wikipedia, as is especially the case for this article.  The wiki page for the Republic of Nauru , in spite of what any English teacher would tell you, is the number one resource for finding anything you were wondering about this proud nation.  And let me just say, this shit writes itself.  Unlike most all of my other blogs, this one is going to be 100% factually correct 100% factually correct according to Wikipedia, and in the case of the grand nation of Nauru, truth is stranger than fiction.  Here are my top five reasons why Nauru is the greatest country of all time (according to Wikipedia!).

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34 — Aponia

21 12 2009

Artist: 34

Album: Aponia

Genre: IDM

Year: 2009

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Friend or Foe: GRAVITY

21 12 2009

Gravity, invented by Sir Isaac “Crip Killa” Newton in 1679, is a terrifying thing; it controls our destiny without regard for our feelings, and we often misunderstand its role in a situation.  The Yahoo! Kids Online Dictionary defines gravity as “The natural force of attraction exerted by a celestial body, such as Earth, upon objects at or near its surface, tending to draw them toward the center of the body.”  But is it friend or foe?  Today, we investigate. Read the rest of this entry »





The Big-Ass New Year, New Music Wrap Up 2009-2010 (UNFINISHED)

20 12 2009

this is a place holder for my new years music wrap up…





Mattiesko Investigates: Why I am ALWAYS the Thimble when I Play Monopoly

19 12 2009

i’ll crack your back for you if you let me have your park place square, bro.

I’m not going to lie, Monopoly is a complex game. There has never been a recorded instance of anyone completing a game of Monopoly without making up a rule of their own or dramatically changing the dynamics of the game by fucking robbing the bank or some shit; I myself am guilty of this from time to time. But there’s one thing that even the most greenhorn-ed Monopolist doesn’t hesitate to lip off about, and that’s the tokens.  It’s all about the tokens.  The g-money.  The shiny.  In order to prove beyond a doubt that the thimble is the superior Monopoly token, I’d like to provide you with some history about this noble game. Read the rest of this entry »